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  • Bloggity Blog Blog

    Another thirty-something mama writing about my three and a half year old daughter, my one year old daughter, breastfeeding, birth, car seat safety, motherhood, photography and family. Come see what's going on.

Dear Baby, 14 weeks

Dear Baby,

It’s been a long time since I’ve written you a letter on here, I apologize. For awhile I didn’t think I had anything very exciting to say. I think about you all of the time though, and I talk to you as well. Your little ears don’t quite work yet but someday you’ll hear me. Approximately 12 years from now you will be telling me to be quiet, I’m sure, but until then, I will chatter away.

We’re in the second trimester, Baby! Today was day 100 of the pregnancy. That doesn’t even seem possible! Time is going so quickly! Your second cousin, O, was born on Thursday and I found out that Bethany was pregnant when she was right around 14 weeks. Looking back it seemed like she was pregnant forever! I’m guessing that my pregnancy will seem to go faster than her’s seemed to me. I’m ok with time slowing down a bit though, supposedly second trimester is the good part so I’d like to enjoy that with you.

Right now you’re the size of an orange. It’s very strange to me that I have something the size of an orange living in my abdomen and I can’t feel it at all! Only a few more weeks though and I should be able to feel you kicking away. I wish we could see you sometime though. Is it weird to say I miss you without having ever really seen you in the first place? Our only picture of you, well honey, you looked like a little tadpole. Rumor has it that you look a lot more like a baby now and I can’t wait to see you. Two more weeks before we go in to hear your heartbeat and approximately 6 more weeks before we get to have our ultrasound. Might as well plan to keep those little legs crossed though because we don’t want to know whats between those legs! We want that moment in the delivery room to be extra special, it will be the moment you become YOU.

I still think you’re a girl. I’m trying to prepare myself for the likelihood that you may not be but it’s weird. 🙂 It’s weird to think of you as an outside baby at all! I’m just getting used to the concept of you being in my belly! You’ll probably think this is funny someday but every time I stop to think about you being outside of my body and in our arms I get all weepy and ridiculous. (like right now 🙂 )

This weekend I was telling Uncle M and Aunt A and Papa (oh holy hell, now I’m REALLY crying just from typing out those names!) about how after you’re born I want to have a big party for you and bestow our family’s blessings upon your life and your future. Just like right now, I couldn’t even get the sentence out to them without tearing up! So, right now talking about my ‘outside baby’ pretty much equals Mommy crying and Daddy getting that look on his face that he gets when he’s so in love he’s about to burst. I’ll have to get used to sharing that look with you. 🙂 Somehow I don’t think it will be too difficult!

There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about. I don’t know how much you know about the year that preceded your  conception but ask me about it sometime, I’ll be glad to tell you all about it. One of the many things I learned from the struggle of that year is that even when you think the worst has happened, life will heap more on your plate, and you can handle it. You are stronger than than you think, and everything really does end up OK in the end. Some things take days to figure out, some things take years, but things always figure themselves out in the end. This year taught me a lot about who I am, who I want to be and what I am capable of. I think that learning these things about myself has been one of the universe’s ways of preparing me to be your Mommy.

Another thing I’ve learned this past year is to tell people how you feel about them and never assume they just ‘know’. As your mother I want to always be the one who tells you how proud I am of you, how beautiful you are, how talented, how kind. I want to tell you these things so much that you that you get sick of hearing them. More importantly, I don’t want you to ever have to wonder. You deserve to know how I feel and never have to guess or assume.

I’m approaching the rambling phase of my letter writing so I think it’s time for bed. I’ve been editing photos all night from a wedding. Did you know I was a wedding photographer? I wonder if I still will be by the time you read this someday. I hope I’m still taking pictures at least. It’s such a big part of my life now, I can’t imagine ever being without it.

I love you, Baby. I say goodnight to you every night and will keep doing so until you move out (of the house, not the uterus) 🙂 Daddy has started kissing my belly goodnight, which is the sweetest thing ever. I can’t wait until you’re kicking so hard that he can feel it! We have so many things to look forward to. I hope you’re excited!

Keep growing and never doubt for a moment that you are loved and wanted!



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Dear Baby, 7 weeks

Dear Baby,

It’s Sunday morning and I’ve been watching old episodes of Extreme Makeover Home Edition to clear up space on our DVR. I love this show because it reminds me of all of the good people in the world. It’s also making me tear up every 5 minutes just like every sentimental moment on tv these days. Who cries during 2012? Apparently I do! I’m the world’s biggest sap right now and I’ve heard it only gets worse!

Today you are 7 weeks and 2 days old. You are the size of a blueberry or raspberry or some sort of berry. 🙂 I enjoy the fruit analogies in the baby books but fruits come in so many different sizes so I don’t always find it helpful! Still, my little berry, you continue to grow and that’s all I care about! Keep up the good work.

Friday afternoon Daddy and I saw you on ultrasound for the first time! Daddy was SO excited about the appointment he kept talking about it all week. There wasn’t a whole lot to see since you’re such a teeny bean (errr berry?) at this point but we saw your little baby shape, tail and all, and we saw your little heart beat flickering away on screen! I could have watched that all day, it was amazing. Life. Flickering away on that screen. Your life has begun.

I think seeing your heartbeat made this whole pregnancy thing really hit home for Daddy. He said “Not that it didn’t feel real before but now it feels REAL!” I know what he means. Seeing you is different than imagining you inside of me. Hopefully next time we see you you’ll look a little more human and less like a reptile. 🙂 You’ve got some time and some serious growing to do!

You feel real to me because as of recently I’ve been feeling pretty sick to my stomach in the afternoons! Some friends of mine who have had babies or are pregnant right now have pointed out “This is the best reason in the world to feel like garbage!” I can’t help but agree with them. I’m just hoping I don’t end up with my head in the toilet for the next month. So far I’ve only gotten sick one time, but that was in the middle of my 2 day migraine so I’m hoping that was caused by the headache and not by ‘morning sickness’. (by the way, terms like ‘morning sickness’ who were invented by men who have never experienced it make me angry at men. But that’s another story!)

So, I kind of think you’re a girl! Sorry if you’re reading this and you’re not, but I think you are. 🙂 I have a 50/50 chance of being right so I’m going to go with my intuition. Maybe it’s because I have a bunch of girl names that I really love but not really any boy names that sound perfect. I don’t know how I’m going to wait almost 8 more months to find out. I have heard that sometimes with boys it is so obvious on the ultrasound that there’s really no question. So, if that’s the case, I won’t be sad about finding out early, hee hee. (No Steve, I will not close my eyes during the ultrasound!)

I like writing these letters. It feels like I’m hanging out with you for a little bit while I type them. I think about you all the time but I guess I don’t talk to you very much yet. I think that would sound a bit nuts at this point but maybe I’ll start. I sing to you though. I try to sing every single day so you’ll know my voice. I also sing every day because it makes me so happy. Happy Mommy, happy baby, right?

That’s about all I can think of right now. I want to keep talking to you but, baby, we have time. You’ll be mine forever and I’m so thankful.

I love you so much. (lordy, crying again!)


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Dear Baby, 5 weeks

Dear Baby,

Part of the reason I started this blog was so you could look at it one day and see the journey that Daddy and I took from your conception to your arrival. I must admit that is is VERY strange calling him ‘Daddy’ but I’m sure it will grow on me! It’s also very strange to know that there is a little life inside my body right now. I’m sure as you grow and make your presence known it will start to feel more real. Also, I think that seeing you for the first time on the ultrasound will drive home the reality of all of this!

Most days I don’t feel any different than I did before before I was pregnant. My symptoms so far are very mild but I’m very happy when I feel a twinge in my abdomen or a soreness in my breasts because it’s a little reminder that you are inside of me, growing at an astounding rate. Sometimes I get a little scared that I’m not ready for this or I am anxious about money etc but my overwhelming feeling so far is love and calmness. That is the energy that I want you to feed upon as you grow.

Today you are 5 weeks and one day old. Your heart started beating yesterday and imagining that little miracle makes me weepy. You are truly a blessing from the universe.

As you know, your Aunt Torey was in a bad car accident about a year before you were conceived (right after Mommy and Daddy’s Wedding) and the last year has been incredibly hard on our whole family, especially your grandmother. It is my sincere and earnest hope that the news of your impending arrival will inject some much needed joy into this family. Your tiny beating heart is a beacon of hope.

Aunt Torey has taken to asking me every day if I am pregnant yet. 🙂 I hate lying to her but it’s also kind of funny that she started asking me two days after we found out about you. I told her she would be the first in the family to find out about my pregnancy so I’m thinking of the perfect way to tell her at Thanksgiving. I’ll be sure to let you know that story after it happens.

I am so grateful that I have been blessed with your life inside of me. I can’t wait to meet you.

Love Always,


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